Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Play in an alternate world.

Live an alternate life.

Kill, fight, and rule with the sword.

Fun times.

If only people could rez in a few seconds in the real world.

Now, explain to me again why you like to do online gaming?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Football Fashion

Don’t get me wrong I like the tight pants that show off the player’s strong thighs.

But color underwear under white pants?

Who dresses these guys?

Didn't every girl in the world learn this was a fashion disaster at age twelve?

Guess it’s a benefit of being a football player – no fashion sense.

Leave a comment and tell me your thoughts.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pollyanna Syndrome

Look on the bright side tomorrow will be a better day.

Out of milk – have eggs for breakfast instead.

Run in your hose – wear pants instead.

Lost your keys -----

Hell – just go back to bed.

Tomorrow has got to be better.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Unanswerable Question

Utterly Bewildered Woman on a quest to find the secrets of the universe.

Tell me why, after finally gain enough weight to have breasts any woman could be proud of, I keep getting a heat rash between them which makes me long to be an A cup again?

Possible answer –

Stay inside where’s it cool,

Lose weight,

Use diaper ointment to cure the problem

Forget it and eat more chocolate.

Or take the Scarlet O’Hair solution and worry about it tomorrow,

Hell, I think I'll forget it all together until spring if the weather will just cool off.

Monday, September 22, 2008


Must be from a dinosaur, Right?

Wrong, you won’t find it in a museum.

False teeth for hockey players?

No, it doesn't go in your mouth.

You place it on your ear and use it with your cell phone.

Who come up with these names?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Notice the order of the name of my blog

– Utterly Bewildered Mom/ Wife/ Woman, I think that should tell you where I rank in my own mind.

One brownie left, I let my kids and husband have it. (It’ll help my waistline is my rational.)

Chocolate and I’m willingly giving it up.


Some one at the door,

Sorry, got to go.

The men in the white jackets are here to take me for a trip to the padded room again.

I can use the vacation.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Same words

Second verse – could be better but after years, it’s beyond getting worse.

“Hey, I’m hungry.”

He holds out his hand and says, “Hi Hungry, it’s nice to meet you.”

Change the last word and repeat to "Hey, I'm tired."

"Hi Tired, it's nice to meet you."

Multiply by three members of my family and you don't have to wonder why the men in white know my address.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


No one would believe the strange things going on in my house.

Iggy, for those of you who don’t know it, is an invisible gremlin. He isn’t seen, he doesn’t talk, but you find evidence of him everywhere, and there in lies the trouble.

He’s sneaky. He might even be in your house.

Let me give you an example.

Have you ever had a spot suddenly appear on your carpet? You ask everyone. Did you spill something? Do you know where this spot came from?

The answer to your questions from the cast of characters in your house are blank stares and strong denials.

The only one you know who didn’t do it was yourself, but who is the responsible party. Who is to blame?

With no evidence, what do you do? Blame it on the dog?

I hate to tell you but it’s not the dog. It’s Iggy.

He enjoys causing everyone trouble. Yesterday, the toilet became clogged.

Who could have done it by using too much toilet paper?

No one in my house, right?

You got it, Iggy must have struck again.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Other Cast of Characters

Fabulous Husband – FH is a wonderful man, who has brought love, joy and a warp sense of humor into my life.

Son A and Son B so named so neither is regarded higher than the other. I’ll let you get to know them as we go along.

Here is a son inspired example of the two from my “Faceless Super Hero” short story (which I haven’t finished. Names are different from the real characters in my life.)

Chapter One

The alarm sounds.

Hearing it, our super hero opens her eyes. Ever vigilant to saving the world, she responds by swatting at the button to put a stop to the endless racket. The beeping stops but the peaceful sound of silence did not follow in its wake.

Angry words, loud shouts, and grunts of conflict race down the hall to her ears.

Our hero, tired and weary from a sleepless night, leaps from her resting-place, throws her satin cape around her shoulders, slides her feet into her bunny slippers, and heads for the door. With her pace less than the speed of light, she shuffles around the corner in a rush. The sleep in her eyes blurs the sight of the kitchen, which lays only a short distance in front of her.

The scene she’s faced many times before was a battle of wills, a force of nature clashing together, their youthful action plays out the fight for dominance. One locked in the grips of puberty, the other loud with adolescent energy vibrating off the walls. Each uses his muscles to take out his frustration on the other.

With his arms around his opponent’s neck, the older one struggles for the contents of a cereal box that is between them.

“You have to finish the other cereal before you can have any of this.”

Twisting forward the smaller one tries to throw his assailant over his shoulder, but the action only achieves a more precarious position. “No, you do. I ate more than my share.”

With the weight advantage, the larger one bears down on his contender, attempting to push him to the ground. There the dance starts. With a quick dart, each move is countered with a responding movement.

If it wasn’t for the restrained violence in the movements, it could be viewed as a graceful ballet. Each knowing their part, they duck—turn--sway to the rhythm of an unseen orchestra.

Each actor makes the defensive response, but our hero knows how quickly the dance can end with someone getting hurt.

“Stop it. I haven’t even gotten dressed yet and you two are at it,” our hero communicates her displeasure, killing the action with her voice.

Sullen looks and wounded pride flash through their eyes before they release their holds. A final push, a dirty look, neither shows any weakness to the other. They each wanted to show that they were only bowing to a force stronger than both of them.

Neither was brave enough to oppose our super hero.

“He started it,” Cory whined.

“Sorry,” Haden murmured in a lower voice.

Spoken close together they both hope to win favor from their enforcer with their plea, a predictable ploy and ineffective in gaining them lenience.

With a grim look and a decisive judgment, our hero controlled the situation. “Split the last of the old cereal, then if you want more we can open the new cereal.”

“Aww, mom.”

Our super hero hits the wall of her true reality.

Doesn’t reality bite?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Faceless Super Hero

Our story begins with a number of irresistible characters. You’ll learn them as we go along.

First is our faceless super hero. She slaves tirelessly along to right every wrong. Unnoticed but devoted, her gentle unseen hand guides the world through its troubles. Without her, the world as our characters know it would fall into total disrepair.

Unseen by the cast of characters, she has a legion of minions who silently listen to her troubles and offer advice.

“Yes, after two kids and being married for twenty plus years….someone to listen.”

Our super hero is dancing around in her bunny slippers after hearing about this newly acquired skill.

You see, our super hero is utterly bewildered by life, and it's taken her a while to master simple ability. Others drop down on her like a ton of bricks.


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Give me a Holiday.

I'm falling behind, but I also came up with a new idea for my website/blog site.

After talking to several people, the one reason for people to visit a website/blog is to learn more about a particular subject.

But the reason, they go back is because they found something of interest on that site.

So I decide to change up my format to reflect my quirky personal. Some people might say I don't have a sense of humor or that I'm not funny.

Shoot, half the time I'm utterly bewildered by the strange things that occur in my life.

I feel I'm out of touch with the real world, so my blog is a ranting of the strange occurances, thoughts, and ideas which pass through my head.

Welcome to my world,


To see the lastest posting visit my website.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Sights around Zorinsky Lake

My husband and I visited this area over the holiday weekend. Thought I would share one of the pictures.

Also notice the name change. Over the next coming weeks, I'll be rolling out a new concept for my blog. Hope you enjoy.